Instant Change – There Is Such A Thing!

Quick Turnaround  

Happy is he who understands gentle hints. A Jew who is close to me and attends my classes, came to me, all depressed and worried, and started to tell me about a great financial loss that he had sustained. He told me the whole story of how it happened, and who did it, and what they did. I knew him well, and therefore I asked him, feigning astonishment: “Who did this to you?!” 

 

That was enough. At that moment, like magic, his expression changed completely. A light went on in his eyes, and a broad smile appeared. He just laughed, blessed me, and went on his way.  

 

What happened here? What did I do? What’s the secret? 

 

There is no secret. When I asked him, “Who did this to you?!”, he stopped and thought a moment, and immediately remembered my classes about how everything is from Hashem. Hashem does everything in this world – not he or she, not I or my wife – because there is no one other than Him. The moment he connected what had happened to him to Hashem, he remembered all the classes he had heard about Hashem being a loving Father, Who will never do anything bad to His children – and right on the spot, his entire attitude towards the “disaster” changed, and he received all the strength and everything he needs in order to handle the nisayon (challenge, test). 

 

It was just amazing! 

 

A Severe Punishment 

The parasha tells us about Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven (the tribes of Gad and Reuven) who come to ask Moshe Rabbeinu to give them their inheritance in Ever Hayarden – on this side of the Jordan. Moshe immediately suspects them of not wanting to have a part of the Land of Israel, thus repeating the Sin of the Spies and endangering the entire Jewish People. Therefore, he rebukes them very harshly, referring to them as “tarbut anashim chata’im” – a society of sinful people – and accuses them of refusing to help the Jewish People and of bringing Hashem’s wrath on all of them.  

 

Who are we to criticize Moshe Rabbeinu, the man of G-d? But the Torah and our holy Sages teach us that even the greatest of the great make mistakes to teach us lessons for all generations. It says in the midrash that because Moshe Rabbeinu suspected Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven of not wanting a part in the land, he was punished with his grandson worshiping the idol of Micha.  

 

Rabbi Nachman asks: “This is difficult; what is the connection between ‘a society of sinful people’ to his punishment, that his grandson should worship an idol?” Rabbi Nachman then explains the deep meaning: “And the answer is that Chazal said: ‘Whoever lives outside of the Land [of Israel], it is as if he has no G-d.’ And Chazal said further: ‘Whoever suspects the innocent, suffers bodily. Moshe suspected Bnei Reuven and Bnei Gad of not wanting any part in the Land of Israel, so it seems they have no G-d. For that, Moshe was punished with a grandson who had no G-d, because they were innocent in this matter, as they wanted a part in the Land as well.” 

 

The punishment Moshe Rabbeinu received is amazing: His grandson was oved avoda zara, no less! 

 

All this is coming to tell us the severity of suspecting the innocent. One needs to be very careful before coming to such a conclusion. Ask questions, find out, try to understand what is happening now, what happened in the past, what they want exactly, what their motives are. Only when you see the whole picture, you may decide whether it is right to rebuke them or not. Chazal teach us here a double kal vachomer (a fortiori) from Moshe Rabbeinu, the greatest of all prophets – even if we lived a billion years, we would have no understanding of his spiritual level. If he was punished so severely for being quick to judge, how much more so should we be careful to stay far, far away from judging others.  

 

Whom Does the Rabbi… Hate? 

I became aware of this point, because sometimes students come to me, asking: “Is the Rav angry at me?” And there are even those who are certain about it: “The Rav hates me; he is pushing me away.” I thank Hashem, Who allows me to love my students like they were my sons, and it astonishes me every time anew: How do they reach such conclusions? And when I ask them, they usually say to me: “Because on such-and-such a day the Rav came into the yeshiva and didn’t smile at me,” or “On such-and-such a day, the Rav answered my question, looking more serious than usual.”  

 

Everyone knows that Hashem always enables me to do my best to smile at every Jew. But I am a human being, too. Sometimes I am deep in thought about some issue, or slightly tired, and instead of the smile, people see a more serious countenance, and there are those who immediately interpret this wrongly and do not judge me favorably. And therefore, there are those who approach me directly and ask what it’s all about, and there are those who carry these feelings around in their hearts, allowing them to percolate and build up until they reach all kinds of dark places. What a pity. 

 

The World’s Most Innocent 

From this, I have come to understand that this is so when it comes to the Holy One, Blessed Be He, as well. One of our most difficult problems in life is that we suspect the innocent – suspect the Creator of the World, who is the world’s most innocent. 

 

The Creator of the World always smiles. All of life and the good in the world are one big smile of the Creator to the world, as Rabbi Nachman says: “And when Hashem yitbarach shows a smiling face – it means life and good for the world.” But sometimes there is a shadow. Rabbi Nachman emphasizes that that is only coming from the direction of the person, and not from the Creator. A small cloud, so to speak, comes and hides the Creator’s smile. This is expressed in difficulties and tests and lack of things. And then the person starts to suspect that the Holy One, Blessed Be He, doesn’t love him… 

 

And when a human being suspects the innocent – that is dangerous. Because he is causing himself, chalila, that the thing that he suspects will indeed come upon him. Just like Moshe was punished by having his descendant commit the sin that he suspected Bnei Gad and Bnei Reuven of committing. And then a small problem turns into a big problem, and a slight fall becomes a disastrous crash. 

 

From Darkness to Light 

But the good midda (attribute) is expressed 500 times more intensely than the midda of troubles. And when a person is not quick to judge, he remembers immediately the source of this lack in his life, recalling Who brought upon him this nisayon: the Creator of the World, Who has always smiled on the world. This is the Creator of the World Who for many years has been smiling at him endlessly. And when a person just remembers this and immediately recalls also Hashem’s love, and judges him favorably, he truly connects to the Creator of the World, and then the entire nisayon looks completely different. He regains his emuna (faith), his joy, his hope. 

 

When your starting point is mistaken, when you think that the Creator of the World hates you and wants bad things to happen to you – you have no chance of reaching the right conclusions. All your thoughts will only drive you to develop complexes, anxiety, sadness and anger, all kinds of gehinom (hell). And everything begins from that basic, and mistaken, starting point, which is your not judging the Creator of the World favorably. 

 

But when you make order in your thoughts, and remind yourself of the foundations of emuna: Everything is from Hashem, Hashem loves me all the time, everything is good and for the good, everything is a gift, everything is a message to me, everything is meant to draw me closer – from this correct starting point, a person reaches the right conclusions, and lives a life of encouragement and hope, love and joy, good mental health and positive thinking – even when he is going through very difficult nisyonot. And he will pass these tests successfully and will certainly be saved. 

 

And that is precisely the explanation for the story above. The student who approached me needed only a small hint to return him to his faith – and this hint caused him to make a 180 degree turn in one moment in all his attitude to what was happening to him, and he went from darkness to light.